i threw up in over 4 different places last night. it was like a world tour
I am choosing my outfit based on how fast I can get it off. Please help.
So it wasn't until I came that he pointed out the glow in the dark plastic star still stuck to my forehead. Fun times.
I just realized that I've become that person they make the alcohol warnings on medicine for.
is it trashy that while he was throwing up in the bathroom, i was hooking up with his childhood best friend?
There's an Captain Planet marathon because of Earth Day. I can't NOT turn this into a drinking game.
How many times can I tell him I wasnt expecting sex before he realizes I'm just too lazy to shave all the time?
It's not like I'm never gonna put out again. I'm a sure thing. I promise.
Trust me at the end of the night there will be queso smothered places you didn't think it could be smothered
St. Patrick's day can kiss my ass. Still hungover. I guess I showed up at my gym blacked out yesterday morning. Like im not missing a gym day b
There is resin on and IN the refrigerator. Its even on the food. My god, what happens to you?
It's like sleep walking but with blowjobs
he called me his ex's name during sex then proceeded to cry while still in me
I got my period on eclipse day. I'm officially in line with the moon.
Woke up way too warm in the middle of a spooning sandwich. Was working up a rant about still not wanting a threesome. Then I realized the littlest spoon was the dog. Might need to break up anyway.
Randomize
