I can't believe you let me try to pierce your nipple with a dart last night
I've see this movie. You sext me after the bar and fall asleep mid sentence. Roll credits.
dizzyuy bat. 3.453 lkos. hoit sx, now im single. blackouteed
I never want to hear the words 'my therapist says . . . ' while naked again.
Don't let me forget to bring the toilet inside tonight.
Im embracing the luau theme and maybe bringing a kiddie pool filled with alcohol. Im also embracing the high probability I will not remember this night.
Come over, I want to eat cookie dough off your dick.
I'm just learned what a rim job is, I feel like crying
What happens at the gay bar stays at the gay bar. Except that I sold my panties for $100. People should know that.
Champagne pong turned into an expensive and painful experience.
So, it's been almost 3 months and and I still dont know her last name. That's gotta be a record.
I have a to do list for the summer and thing one is figuring out my sexual orientation
Do you think I can get away with quoting Work Bitch by Britney Spears in my speech?
That jawline could fucking have its way with me.
My school has hired a professional rum bottle juggler for our dining hall this evening.
Randomize
