the beds are so narrow its like a jenga threesome
he was going down on me when he saw the warts...nevertheless he told me he had to pick his sister up from school. why does this keep happening to me???
Drinking bud light and eating rice cakes...this is the closest to getting in shape for spring break as its going to get.
She was so adorably desperate I didn't have the heart to tell her I wasn't a lesbian. So now She's making waffles, may switch teams over this.
screw jello shots the kids from the culinary school made pudding shots with 4 loko.
I don't think there was a moment this weekend where grey goose did not course through my veins
Whiskey??
It will be at least another 6 weeks before I say yes again. I'm bruised. I stole sex cards and a really nice pocket knife. I acquired a vial of my own blood. Talk about a yard sale...
So much rum. So many feels.
No. Dude. I didn't knoe it eas floibg to move. It's slepprru ixuy!
Bar selfie Saturday turned into bar nudie Saturday in a hurry. I need to delete my snapchat...
I accused the cab driver of smoking weed in the taxi then I remember it was me.
Just test drove the kilt for Justin's wedding. NEVER. WEARING. PANTS. AGAIN.
woke up this morning and she was gone. but she left a box of donuts on the counter with a note saying "for all the 'o's you gave me last night"
I POOPED CONFETTI TOO. Ingested unacceptable amount of it oh my god can I die from this?
Oh. My. God. I. Am. Going. To. Punch. Someone. In. The. Face. Immediately.
Randomize
