careful when you do the walk of shame, they are handing out bibles on campus
His pickup line was "I'll eat you out"
He did it well too
it is 7:54 and i am surrounded by drunk old people. drunk enough that my grandmother and her friend just compared boobs. as in, shirts off, bras coming down. save me.
they're mlb prospects.. of course i'm gonna bang one of them.
Yeah I think we tried to use the shower curtain as a parachute because its tied to my backpack with some string. Dont know if anyone actually attempted it though.
Just to be safe, you should be prepared to jump out of a second story window
We found you naked curled up in a ball in the closet, using a gorilla suit as a blanket
Come down. Bring Jorts. We're getting ready for this tricycle race like champions.
woke up wearing a canadian flag with the starting forward of the hockey team. i feel oddly patriotic
Sleeping in a car was not on my list of plans for the night.
Hired a new intern today and we have something in common. I blew her boyfriend in high school. Do you think she knows?
Poor guy. Tried so hard to get out of the friend zone. I had to make out with someone in front of him to put him in his place.
I cant miss out on a half day of work without a booty call
I possibly am a tad bit not really but maybe slightly intoxicated.
Perfect attendance and not being drunk since Sunday. This is a new leaf if I've ever seen one
Randomize
