He yelled GOOOOAAAALLL when he came.
His mom took away his car and made him quit his job.
HE'S 26!!!
I need to move out. I just walk of shamed my way into a family breakfast party. There's no response when grandma says "where you coming from in heels at 9AM?"
So does it count as really great road-head if he ran over 3 mailboxes before realizing he was off the road?
I just dont understand why you didnt cut me off when I took the funnel into the bathroom and started peeing and funneling at the same time
all he has to do is look at me on new years and hes getting laid. thats how hot he is
i didnt think "maybe you should take over" was a good thing to say when i couldnt get it up
I've never heard of anyone celebrating the holidays with a fuck buddies family before.
....I'll be expecting my trophy when I return.
Should i put up a tasteful banner for your party that says last chance to sleep with maya?
There was definitely a significant amount of cookie dough in my bra
First roommate to find me and dance with me will live. Battle Royale.
It's tough not drinking when the bartender adds rum to your coke without telling you, and doesn't charge you
So I have to masturbate in a hospital. I wonder what kind of porn they have.
I was too lazy to get my chapstick out of my purse so i lubed up my lips with pizza grease. On a scale of 1-10 how embarassed should i be?
First aid class means get dry humped by moderately attractive college students during heimlich maneuver training.
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