I showed him my bush... on skype.
Suck a a big bag of reindeer cock bud. Sent from church. See you in hell
I guess I tried to spit on a homeless man on the walk home...Out. Of.Hand.
I saw someone get arrested while I was moving out...this has to be a good sign.
We were fucking at break-dick speeds.
Would I be bad if I bought a pregnancy test at shoppers the same time I hand in a resume? Or do you think it would get me the job?
Mitt romney looks like a fantastic lover (full disclorsure: im 76% vodka right now)
You don't even know. The entire marching band thinks I'm an alcoholic.
Where are you on a scale from one to wasted?
Like alphabetically I'd say a v
FUCK YOU AND YOUR WEAK ASS EYEBROWS
I'd say "I think I gave my TA chlamydia" is an accurate way to sum up my life.
how I know last night was a good night: this morning I found a bottle of tapatio, a bag of chicken and a bag of popcorn in my purse.
He told me that after two hours of fucking he feels as though his dick wants to detach from his body and go to Mexico..
One of my nipples looks nothing like the other...i don't know how this happened
It’s amazing such a big dick belongs to such a boring guy
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