How many times can you lose to your mom in beer pong before you can no longer show your face around campus?
Not complaining, but why is there a Russian chick downstairs making latkes?
I think I've reached that age where I should start dating "congrats" and not "are you keeping it?"
I'll still trying to understand the context of your "punch her with my cock" comment.
I feel like this is going to result in some sort of tearing in my vagina.
Thats a chance were just gonna have to take
The closest thing to a sext that you will ever receive from me is a picture of pepperonis on Greg's asscheeks, clenching.
Im pretty sure at one point a very high you yelled, with actual tears in your eyes, "im not wrestling with you anymore, you dont respect my safe word!!"
Dad had me doing shots of chocolate mint Everclear last night. I've never felt closer to him.
She's opening her family birthday cards at the bar. So we can pay our tab. Bitches wrote checks :(
Shower sex is an art that should not be attemted drunk
You wouldn't believe how many pro-life stickers, and "show us your tits" signs there are between here and Dallas.
She was trying to be sexy well putting on my condom with her mouth when her cat pounced from the corner of the room witch caused her to gasp and inhale the condom
I don't trust my subconscious. It sleeps with my exboyfriend sometimes.
I parked in the SAE Fraternity lot and left a note that said if you don't tow me you will all get a blowjob.
No, it's okay that he's on a date. I attach no more emotion to him than I do my vibrator.
Randomize
