dude facebook disabled my account because im registered under a false identity. now in order to get it back, i have to prove that it's really my name. i sent them an email and had to sign it "Cordially, Lloyd Pancakes"
Just gave my little brother the collection of clothes that boys have left in my room since I've been in college for his birthday.
were you wearing a green and blue thong last night?
yes! wait why?
because i found it in my pocket this morning...
Once you realized you couldn't finish the 30 you started walking down the street and leaving a beer in everyone's mailbox
you humped every kiosk in the store. then you asked for an application.
Please check on her. She announced that Thursday she'd open herself to any veteran so as to thank them for their service. "my services for your service" and left the bar with three numbers.
while we were making out your friend starting kissing my toes and all you had to say was "just go with it"
if you are still a virgin by winter break we are throwing an aztec themed sacrifice the virgin party
So update from last night: I made friends with a coke dealer, I tore the card scanner off the wall of my dorm, and I passed out on our bathroom counter with my head in the sink.
I'm not so good at organized events that don't revolve around whiskey or playgrounds.
Amazon.com "suggested" I buy both nipple clamps and opera gloves.
Got to work this morning and thought... Did I really dance on that pole last night
CAPS.LOCK.AND.SPACEBAR.ARE.BROKEN.
Welp, no use in crying over spilt milk. I can't unbang her.
Is it wrong to want to use the Dark Web to buy Vyvance for legitimate purposes?
Randomize