he said he "kind of had sex before.. Barely" i think it was one of those situations where you slide into home and get tagged out.
i love being in ibiza. their hotels are much more receptive to walking around naked in the lobby than our american ones.
i gave you head in a backbend. if that doesnt say happy birthday i dont know what does.
Also, I had a dream I had a ray gun and woke up holding my dick.
Well someone has to be the Christmas slut at the family dinner. I suppose it's my year to fill those shoes.
I come back upstairs and there he was sitting in a speedo. He handed me a blanket and said "let's cuddle" how is this real life?
That boy has a whole ocean of crazy lying just beneath the surface waiting to rise up, he's like the tar sands of crazy
For sure. I'm slow cooking a 6 pound pork shoulder wrapped in bacon. If that doesn't scream "guys I'm going into culinary arts lets get drunk" I'm not sure what does.
Yeah well you try taking nice pictures while you have pizza crust lodged in your throat
I just met a stripper in the light of day who I ate a candy bikini off her body. This is how my weekend is going.
I don't get promposals. When I asked my date I was so drunk I couldn't lift my head. Then I puked on my lawn after he said "ok whatever". That's romance
How is it possible for someone who gets so many dick picks sent to her, to be experiencing such a complete and utter lack of dick IRL.
I fucked a marine... I told him it was like personal revenge and he said he could live with that and that he didn't mind being used.
I think I left my thong in your bed. Careful. It has the power to destroy the agitator on a washing machine
Nobody cheats on THIS.
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