Did u know that at any givin time there r 46,948,952 drunk people in the world? Were not alone
It's American, baby! There ain't nothin gross about America.
i was sitting in the back seat of her car with her boyfriend while she was driving. it was pretty awkward, but i dont think "so my dick's been in your girl's mouth too" was a good ice breaker
can a guy be partially circumsized? cause i dont exactly know what i was lookng at...
my mind is a poorly written porno when i'm drunk.
Dude, we took our shirts off and set our chest hair on fire. That's a low point.
You raise a valid concern
If you were a real friend you would have told me you saw me in a porno despite how awkward of a convo it is. You act like I should always know when I'm being recorded.
I could have made money off of that but no you had to wait 2 years to drunkenly tell me this shit.
New rule. No seeing movies about plane crashes after killer bong rips
I can't tell if the dead thing in the yard is a deer or the guy I slept with last night...
I came in and I guess my parents didn't hear me. My dad just said "Don't be lazy, RIDE IT." to my mom. Never coming home again.
Just came so hard my back cracked. Other women are totally missing out if they don't masturbate.
I opened the door, threw up on the street, wiped my mouth and flashed a thumbs up to all of the cars behind us and kept on driving
He went down on me while I was on the phone with my grandma.
I was about to break it off with him because I realised he only wanted me for sex, until I realised that I only wanted HIM for sex. Win/win
I blacked out after the piñata full of condoms
Randomize
