I don't apprectiate you insinuating that my breasts have a sort of bremuda triangle effect
So my professor just changed my Final to 7:45am on May 6th. Shouldn't a Spanish professor understand the implications of Cinco de Mayo???
I want a vodka facial right about now. I'm talking about straight vodka bukkake
it's pretty bad when you go in bed bath and beyond and recognize 6 different bed spreads you've had sex on
The freshman sure do fuck up the whataburger line at 2am
It's like playing clue with my own life. I have to piece together what I did, where I was, how I did it, and who I did it to
You were pretty dunk by the time you introduced the vase as your best friend.
Good morning! Spongebob is on channel 257 when you wake up. Help yourself to breakfast. You were great last night. See you when i get back.
I'm so hungover I literally am considering drinking from the fishtank to avoid getting out of bed.
I have effectively turned laundry day into a drinking game.
So the guy who is making our IDs is in jail now for attempted murder, with no bail...
So no fakes?
do u know what happened to the bottles last night?
apparently we hid them.... i google mapped the location into my phone
I accidentally sent him a snapchat of my boobs and now we're going on a date tomorrow... Could be worse.
And as the acid sets in, he looks back at the shallow form he used to call his and whispers "3 pee pees strong"
I've been getting a lot of emails from patron lately for being a great customer. Is that awesome, or should I start thinking about seeking help?
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