so when we were booking the hotel and plane tickets for vegas we reserved a chapel for someone, it's inevitable.
So basically i got outta bed and started peeing on the a/c unit..when my roommate tried to stop me i looked at him and said "i got this"
I don't know the quality of the hand jobs you've received in the past but it CLEARLY was not one from me
We just started the day with vitamin bombs. Daily vitamin + whatever's left in your glass from last night = feel like a champion
I just can't deal with that sentence
Blacked out last night, but left myself a note that said "oops on oops on oops" that can never be a positive
Ok get your liver ready for the weekend. Harry Potter Drinking Game Marathon is a go. BYO liquor of choice, rule cards at the door. I wanna see some Hagrid level drinking out of you, Muggle.
You knew you'd end up at his house the minute you emptied the bowl of condoms into your purse.
This time last year, you were undressing me from my gecko costume and getting freaky in a public bathroom. Tough to top that New Years Eve.
On Tinder, guy asked me if I had ever been fucked by a Pokemon master. Needless to say I didn't respond.
Wow. The LSU Tennessee game is on here and the LSU cheerleaders are stupid hot. Its weird having a hard on. At a bar. On a Wednesday. By yourself.
I am on my way right now and I SWEAR TO GOD IF YOU EAT MY BURRITO YOU WILL NEVER SEE MY TITS AGAIN
Cant get off the floor. Need more beer. Send help.
Once upon a time I threw up in my own hands last night.
Your penis caused this!
New drinking game get out your high school year book and take a shot for everyone in your class who's had a baby!
Randomize