You were yelling in my ear let's double team her with her right next to us
at what point last night did i decided to have a photo shoot with your camel toe
I'm trying not to drink. I may fall down if I move. This is bad. I had everclear before the bar. Oh no. Oh no. Breathe. Breathe. Breathe.
There should be a rule. If your dick is under 6 inches, you are not allowed to dress as Thor.
You've thrown off my entire schedule. Usually SATURDAYS are my "try to hide the jizz on my leggings" days
Sometimes I get in situations where I realize they think I'm smarter than I am and then it's just one more thing I have to fake.
I'm about to be a big disappointment.
I'm trying to poop and took acid, this is going to end horrid or wonderful. Oh the amusement park, not the pooping.
And the cops are back. At least my pants are on this time
I'm definitely not at Wal-Mart eating jalapeno poppers with an elevated blood alcohol content
I still don't understand if he's using me to write his resume or if we're dating
Clearly you've confused me for someone who has their shit together, and honestly I have no idea how you did that.
sorry I called you to cry about the state of the neopets economy
That moment when you're in a room with 3 guys and know how big their dicks are. Then you are married to the one with the smallest dick.
I'm eating Arby's in the bathtub because I'm an adult and I do what I want
if anyone breaks out the olive oil & slip n slide, text me 911.
Randomize
