You're going to have to start masturbating with your left hand. Or with someone's vagina
Legit screaming match in this bar over the differences between cupcakes and muffins.
Played "Which Couple Will Take Me Home Tonight" at the bar last night... I can now cross three-some off my bucket list
i just remember pinky promising you guys to take care of him.
Is everything ok? Last time I missed your call you were being arrested.
Great. Woke up in Ts room wearing one sock, a glove and a beret with a sorrority chick CLEARLY out of my league. Jose Cuervo you ARE a friend of mine.
Put it this way, at one point I was getting stoned on the roof of the strip club with one of the strippers while another one gave me a free lap dance. That wasn't even the best part of the night.
Too much alcohol and too many lesbians. I can officially say I have regrets now. At least that's something.
I ended up in a bathroom giving my hymen a pep talk
He's beautiful. His facial hair makes me wanna cum in it
Ew, no. But yeah I feel the same
When you're not at your house I assumed you're somewhere having sex
A girl just invited me over for a blowjob and beer. Is this a trap?
My neighbors are white girl rapping to Hamilton again...
we used a blowdryer last night to warm up our left over pizza..it worked perfectly at first..but then the chili powder got into his eyes..
Have you had an orgasm with an n95 mask on yet? It was better than being choked.
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