Wait, how do girls masturbate?
I dunno we use shower heads I guess.
..how does it fit?
These guys are walking up and down the hallway yelling, "Yo, is this the floor with the unisex bathroom?"
I just woke up and shes still asleep next to me with her vibrator inside her and on. Whats normal protocol for this situation?
you're the only person i know to use "jizz" and "cute" in the same sentence.
I passed out in the stadium during the 4th quarter and you guys just left me there?
Yea, but we put money for a cab in your pocket.
I could get a dump truck for 1000. Think of the possibilities.
Riding on an electric horse at the grocery store... dunno how that conversation went but I hope you picked up a 12 pack.
He slow fucked me. Doggy style. On a porch. You never slow fuck doggy style. Its a law. A LAW.
siamese drinking twins saturday is a go ... bring duct tape.
Using the only finger i can move, i calculated body mass, intake and time. It's mathematically impossible for me to still have this hangover at 9pm. I passed out at 8pm last night. Fuck vodka.
I'm honestly considering asking her if I can eat her out, as a friend.
showering high made me realize that i should seriously reconsider my career path... id be a damn good hair shampooer & head massager
at one point, you reached into your purse, pulled out a tampon, and proceeded to rub it on your lips like chapstick... that drunk
What a weekend. It started with me realizing i might not be straight and ended with me spraining my foot.
Guuuuurrrrrl! He ate the 🌮like it contained the Covid-19 vaccine!
Randomize
