Do u think she knows her nickname is the oompa loompa
Fun fact: he pulled out my nuva ring while he was fingering me.. he looked really confused at me and it a couple of times, so i just said "surprise! not only is it good for pleasure, it's also really handy for storing plastic toys." I'm thinking he's definately gonna call.
I'm a gentlemen, chivalry is what i do, i'll open the door, pull out your chair, buy your drinks, i'll even go down first, but when it comes to mario kart, i draw the line. I'm sorry but i just can't let you beat me at mario kart
honestly, magaritas are the void men can't fill.
couldnt find a condom. used a surgical glove instead. actually worked and the sex was great. thanks nursing school
she's walking down the hall in a thong and one flip flop and one ugg
your mom just called me and asked me why i'm not in jail with you right now.
For future reference "bring our litter sisters on our date day" is not such a good idea
Fair enough. Everyone has some guilty pleasures. Yours is yourself
Just broke my collar bone. May not make it to the party.
If I hid at school to avoid the cops, is it fleeing and evading or just being a good student?
Sorry brah. Drastic times called for drastic measures and I had to go home and bang a cougar.
he cock-blocks himself, don't try to make excuses for him!
Then James put his arms through the window and grabbed him, like he was Robocop. A nerdy, portly Robocop.
Who is this?
On a scale of 0 to Thanksgiving, there is no amount of food that fights against tequila.
Randomize
