did you know that the clit is basically just a tiny penis? Ya.. So just think about that next time you're down there.
nothing says platonic group sex like a campfire and smores
i'm dressed up like the coppertone baby and being hit on a guy in a monk costume. the irony is not lost on me.
He didn't speak any English, but I think I caught the word turtle in there somewhere.
Why would he say turtle mid-fuck?
Its like everytime i see you, my vagina gets a heartbeat.
Judging by her face, I'd say she's at least dabbled with meth...
Drinking wine in my childhood bed getting ready to go to sleep in order to wake up for my menial temp job. Thanks, college degree, I can handle the real world.
in my lab write-up should i mention that i watered my plant with tequila?
I apologize for excluding you. On a better note: the stripper that made out with my wife friend requested me on facebook
Hate sex is good. Drunk sex is better. Combine those two however and you get the best experience of your LIFE.
alicia just called me and talked to me in "the eternal language of the dinosaurs" and then kind of roared and gurgled. what kind of 4th of july are you guys having?
the boozy kind. is there any other?
don't worry about my dad. he just hates you because you're liberal, not because we're fucking.
I know. It was just so disappointing. I almost made it. And now the "when's the last time you peed your pants" clock has restarted. Lol
When you can't finish your jumbo margarita and figure pouring it into a to go box will suffice... Midnight snack?
how do i say "cradle the balls" in Italian
Randomize
