Having dinner with my dad, watching the news and some AIDS prevention ad comes on. My dad then kindly informs me that he doesn't enjoy the feel of condoms.
i'm almost done photoshopping my face on his wife. it's a done deal
why did u have a candy cane hung on your dick in the first place?
she has a santa fetish
cute.
The coffee and champagne are fighting over who gets to absorb the one pancake in my stomach
I'm not a creep or anything, just a lost soul looking for a good lay
Asking him not to sleep with other girls is like asking me not to have my period apparently
I vaguely remember telling a bum she was worth more than this
I've just stalked all the hot guys who have clicked "attending". I now know which guys are "yes", "maybe" and "no". I only hope my drunk self remembers.
In preparation for st patty's day I finally had a shamrock shake, and I invested in an app that will apparently keep me from drunkenly texting you pictures of my tits this weekend. Please let me know if you want to not be put on the "forbidden" list!
he told me while inside me and mid thrust that he's dreamed of that moment since high school... awkward
I figured if he was OK cheating on his gf with a guy, he'd be OK with me posting his number to m4m Craigslist Ads
All she said to me before going to get another shot was "Damn, I'd eat her out."
You're so sweet in the most vulgar ways
I got a 93 percent on my last mid term and I was drunk. Think of the possibilities if i were sober for the one thats tommorrow.
There's a point in life when you've got to take dick like a big girl.
Randomize
