You found a girl to hook up with at a gay bar?
No. His name was Paco. I didn't get it by choice. I never had a hickey before.
He muttered something about having just washed he sheets, then demanded I give him all my quarters.
I wish they had a smiley of two girls making out
she's in the bathroom. spitting in the trashcan. not throwing up. just spitting and singing bad romance by lady gaga.
thatta girl
Just woke up. My philosophy paper is a play, and my paper for musical theater is about physics. That's some dank shit you sold me
I buy you gas. You blow me. Economics.
You're getting a blowjob this afternoon. This has been your morning public service announcement.
Thank God I didn't lose my virginity to that asshole. That woulda been like winnin a raffle ticket for a free bag of dog shit. But with like a really pretty bag. A pretty bag full of dog shit.
I'm drunk, we're losing, and I'm in the visitors stands. This is about to get ugly.
I walked in, the bartender looked at me, grabbed 3 shot glasses and a pounder. Lined them up on the bar then made a line with salt on the other side of them and said I wasn't allowed to cross it.
Btw. Being a stripper for a week without anyone knowing to pay off my school loan is no longer in my agenda.
I'm using my dog as a pillow. He's cool with it.
I told my grandmother all I want is a nice guy who likes to be tied up.
you know you're a stoner girl when you get a callus from your grinder
Hey, remember that time a week ago when we walk-of-shamed literally down the Vegas Strip at 8:45am and I had one broken heel?
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