we are driving next to a guy driving and masturbating while looking at a naked magazine. I love LA
Its not small because its small, Its small because it was cold outside
Just wrote a paper about alcohol abuse that sounded like my weekend...
In Canada she would be a 10 but here in America she's only a 7
Where was your thought process?
Drowning in my hangover.
Everyone looked at me like I just fucked a gopher and was wearing it like a hat
New low, passed out while taking a shit for an hour with my parents home, suprised they didnt notice
WHAT IS PROPER BONG ETIQUETTE FOR WHEN YOU'RE ALONE IN YOUR BATHTUB AND CRYING?
The DJ was throwing glowsticks into the crowd and managed to smack one guy in the face with them
That's the 2nd med student that has had his tongue in my butthole, what gives.
I've been continuously high for the last 48 hours, and just broke my 4th vibrator. Coincidence? FIND ME A MAN I BEG OF YOU.
Also I’m on 3%. Just Incase.. I miss you and I love you and you’re my everything and I’m getting drunk.
I told the border patrol officer she was smuggling drugs in her ass. I doubt she cheats on me again.
If I could eat my chicken parm naked, it would be the closest I could ever be to God.
send nudes
from the living room?
Randomize
