The pirates hijacked 3 more ships today!!
we need a boat to join in
Obama is on top of it we'd get killed within mins, but we'd live in legend foreva
my dad just encouraged me to do a kegstand
honestly, magaritas are the void men can't fill.
Just saw a group of asian tourists in safari outifts bow in thanks to the starbucks guys. And no Im not high.
you started puking right when a nickelback song came on..it was epic
Angelique from Rock of Love is now doing phone sex commercials for central illinois....id say she's going places.
i just keep taking vicodin and supergluing random shit
Not complaining, but why is there a Russian chick downstairs making latkes?
i tried to climb in the window in the limo because i wanted the driver to take me to get noodles. ive reached a new level of fat kid
she texted me out of nowhere. and I wanted to get drunk. like I didn't even have her new number until 6 hours ago and bam we were rolling around drinking cotton candy vodka from the bottle she had stuffed in a boot
he fucked me wearing a cowboy hat and made grits after
We call him Texas for a reason.
sometimes you just gotta eat tacobell at 2am and cry all your feelings out
I'm just gonna ride this ego train to sex town
I'm drunk listening and crying to Selena. How's your Monday?
It's difficult to focus on bonds when you know your classmate peed in your mouth
Randomize
