i realized that the internet ruins the joy of a father passing down playboys to his son
I didn't realize he wasn't circumcised... it looked like the Unibomber...
the only thing i can think of after seeing avatar is "when are they gonna make avatar porn?"
I think I might.. possibly.. like a Justin Bieber song.
I think you might... possibly... have sprouted a vagina.
Ya after that i took a dump on a car... We're definitely partying with him again
she left around the point i tried to tie her hair around my dick
Tomorrow night wont work for me. I'm talking with Bryan about marriage and I dont want to have a shroom hangover.
I woke up in the closet and then I found my shirt in a bag of Doritos... how does that work out?
I'm at this kids house trying to figure out if I pissed in his kitchen new years eve. Lmao, stop letting me drink.
she asked him to cuddle cuz she was cold and instead he got up, moved the space heater to her side of the bed, and went back to sleep
I wouldn't be surprised. You and I have basically synced up our brain chemistry by doing drugs together in the same way that two girls would sync their menstrual cycles by sharing a house.
I may or may not have had sex last night then sent him home on a bike with two flats
Summer bikini season begins today. I hereby declare the commencement of the 2013 HUNT FOR CUNT.
He understood my need for pizza was more important than my need for sex. He's the one.
I just spent the last three days trying to hook up with a dude for his pool privileges
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