Flowers- 20. Dinner-50. Drinks- 25. Hotel- 150. The look on his face when I tell him I'm on my period? Priceless.
Everytime she would start slurring, she'd stop, hold up a finger, wait like 30 seconds, then try again. I love drunk people
We decided to smoke and then made crosses on our foreheads for ash wednesday
mom would be proud
Poopin on the sidewaaalllkkk. I wish my text told you that was a song
mom and dad googled us on the weekend. i love the internet less than i did on friday.
yeah, you were trying to hump the doorman.
when did we get a doorman?
we were also in the wrong building...
She referred to her collection of sex toys as an "arsenal." I'm not sure whether to be scared or excited....
Drank another frat president under the table. Thinking of starting my own, gonna call it Alpha Phi Alcoholics
I'm doing it for my vagina. You should understand that
We're gonna take a moment of silence to pray... that his penis is as pretty and as talented as his brothers.
We shall study the pictures later and see if his penis is worth my time.
I woke up to him yelling "WHO SLEEPS WITH A BEER IN THEIR HAND?!?" this of course, startled me awake and made me spill the aforementioned beer. So I guess the a answer is- not this girl, not anymore. Asshole
She was from Wisconsin, she had great boobs... I mean... It's a dairy state....
Who told you he won a fight? He slammed his face into the ground while trying to do 11 push-ups
I would but he’s not speaking to me because I put ketchup in his socks.
Randomize
