That arnold schwarzeneger picture looks strikingly similar to paul
Not half as good looking as paul
I'd say paul has bigger bicep peaks, but who am I to judge
I'm peeing chunks and puking liquid. Did I at least have fun last night?
someone is gonna have my baby tonight. they just dont know it yet
I'll alert the authorities
y-o-u-r-e = you are, y-o-u-r = your. you are a bag of douche not your bag of douche. if you're going to insult me at least do it in proper english. that is all.
I'm lonelier than Tom Hanks in Cast Away, right meow. Ready to make this bong my Wilson.
you told that cab driver that when the 3 of us come togehter it means happiness and love
Only you could walk of shame to a childrens pirate themed birthday party
It's not socially acceptable to be drunk in adult world. That fact makes me die a little inside.
Don't mind me. My boyfriend is carrying me because I'm broken not because I'm drunk.
It's not even 9:30 yet..
Sorry I couldn't reference you in my facebook quote. I will redirect any likes and comments straight to my blowjob efforts this week.
I had sex with him for the first time drunk, dressed in a toddler overall tutu costume, at 2pm. Horrible start.
The sex may be the only reason I like him. I've confused the multiple orgasms for feelings.
Just found a note on the bed that said "Dear mittens, had to leave early I'll be back soon."
WTF? Are you mittens?
you were so high you just watched the elf.... its spring
I remember her making the first martini but the rest of the weekend is a blur of vodka, high heels and sex toys.
First time being used by a cougar. Definitely okay with it
Randomize
