Is it a bad thing I remember to take my birth control when I stumble across guys I've had sex with on facebook?
I'm at taco bell and they have a hiring sign asking "do you like to melt things?" clearly they only want the ambitious.
And for some reason I was covered in ants... So your probably covered in ants as well
"Let's chug a beer then make out" doesn't sound as nice, but it would prob make him cum right there.
I'm like the kid who wants his birthday and christmas equally. Every time I get one I want the other. Only I don't want holidays I want brothers
3 for 3 on getting girls who say "yolo" at the bar to have anal. Not the motto I live by, but it has changed my life.
Erry day erry day!
The cop let me finish my J before he cuffed me. Coolest arresting officer ever.
True. So did you hook up with pasta or the ultimate warrior
Little bit of both
How'd your Tinder date go?
Well, I met his girlfriend...
I try not to flex my sex appeal too much around the engineers, it's like feeding bears...always ends in disaster.
I believe in your delicious
Once you've had an oral std scare, you're an expert.
BUT I'M ALSO ONLY IN IT FOR SEX AND HE CAN'T EVEN GET THAT PART RIGHT.LIKE LITERALLY ALL HE HAS TO DO IS DICK ME DOWN AND BE A DECENT HUMAN BEING IS THAT SO HARD TO ASK?!
I Woke up still tied to the bed. I would say, it was a good night!
boys just don't understand what they're missing out on.
he's missing out on my boobs looking marvelous this evening.
Randomize
