how soon is too soon after the break-up to ask for my condoms back?
he literally just asked me which v neck he should wear tomorrow.
I'll be honest, not actually surprised to find half a Big Mac box and bits of broken security glass by the sofa.
so the last visual we have of him for the next 87 weeks is him outside on the ground rolling around yelling I HATE BLOWJOBS
there was a fucking fire juggler. but it was ok bc i was in the kiddie pool and it was the safe zone
Why isn't there a sort by hair color option on Facebook? It would make stalking much easier.
I HAVE A PIGEON IN MY JACKET.
You misunderstood me....i wasnt asking and it is not negotiable
You're making this sound more like a hostage situation than a booty call.
It's a good cause. For your vagina.
i just came to a realization. Besides probably food, in my lifetime i think i have spent more money on legal fees than anything else
I like making it seem like it's at least a little bit difficult to hook up with me
They live across the street from a school baseball field so they have porter potties across the street and let's just say that I'm grateful they exist
We were mid fuck, and he did a Kermit the Frog impression. Is it weird that I was strangely turned on?
Damn Instagram explore page. I am six months in to some girl I don't even know.
You handed me your heels and said, "barefoot running is all the rage." Then you proceeded to run home.
Randomize
