When health care reform is passed, I'm throwing a kegger
You are the reason we need health care reform
she was licking his armpits.
asian porn is just fucking weird. End of story.
It was the most graceful puke ever. I just thought she dropped something underneath the bar until she told me what happened.
I'm taking her home. She just told a 90 yo woman in a packers hat to "suck her cock".
I just saw a group of 50+ year old women all wearing shirts that said "drink up, bitches" ...please tell me that can be us some day.
I'm not sure what happened last night but I woke up next to him and I was wearing nothing but my grandpa's diabetic socks, so I'm letting that fill in the blanks.
Thank god Shes going home for winter break, gives my dick a chance to recover from those "bjs." Youd think a senior could suck a dick by now.
The best part about living in a college town is the annual rush of senior girls who want to get in their lesbian experiment before they graduate.
Guess who used an inflatable mattress to boat across a retention pond with brooms for oars and a radio and beer.
Just pulled a Kenny Powers on a snowmobile
Come to Des Moines on Saturday, handcuff yourself to me and drink a bottle of vodka
Uh, he still talks to you after you basically sexually harassed him using emojis?
He's the first man I've met that knows more about Harry Potter than I do. He shops at Goodwill and has a Game of Thrones cookbook in his apartment. This is my soulmate.
We watched playoff games and fucked so we could both see the TV. I've now found true love.
No I did a yoga dvd and hit my ex up via email for some pot in exchange for his mail.
Randomize
