What do you call a girl with PMS and GPS?
A crazy bitch that WILL find your ass!
Mac n' cheese is coming out of my nose. You can't make that feel better
I'm sorry that spending new years with you was fucking my boyfriend in your bathroom multiple times
I feel like I need to get a restraining order against him but I'd probably be the one to break it.
Some chick just barfed in my math class. Everyone here is hungover. Yay community college
Screw them and thier engaged asses. I've got liquor to drink and boys I don't know to make out with.
You have not lived until you have drunkenly grinded on your mother. Daughter of the year right here.
U know this is gone far when im in the bathroom trying to take a pic of my asshole
Glitter fights sound a lot funner in theory.
I think I offered a man a blowjob for his power ranger suite last night...
i feel like if we ever had babies together they would just be drunk all the time
No, I barely made it home last nite. Kept telling cab driver I live across the street from Susan Sarandon?? Thank god her coop addy is posted online.
THEY'RE HAVING SEX ON A HORSE AND THE HORSE DOESN'T EVEN CARE.
Went to the party dressed like a Cougar and brought a twenty something dressed as Micheal Phelps home. So far I’m loving being divorced. :-)
I refuse to shit my pants for anyone except Cher and Christina Aguilera!
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