Call me Kermit cause I'm about to go piggin
just walked out of chelsea's house and saw cameron slapping his dick against her car. cant even make this shit up if i tried.
we were doing it doggy-style and i felt him pop that pimple on my back.I have mixed feelings about it
she's sitting alone using her breathalyzer as a kazoo. help.
He told her, Don't talk. Just sit there so I can imagine that you have the kind of personality I wish you had.
You made her yell her own name while you were fucking so that you would remember it in the morning.
Because nothing screams stable like yelling at a guy in a bar because last time you hooked up he stole your underwear.
This is the I'm sorry text for running around yelling don't shit on my rainbow, end up in the fetal position crying at 4 am in my car because someone shit on my rainbow
can we for just one second remember that I played with a homeless man's rat at st marks?
Don't I can pass these orgasm blushes off as sunburn for much longer...
This time tomorrow I'll be fingering you
Oh shit a waiter was leaning over me when i opened that and i felt him pause
I have a txt file I don't remember making open on my desktop. All it says is "what it's like to be a bat"
Thank you for stroking my rage monster tonight.
yeah i wanted to show him what i was missing, so i decided to send him a seductive picture, like the ones where the girls are eating strawberries and whipped cream. well i didn't have those, so i sent him a picture of myself naked eating a bagel
If you ever get divorced...would you call me??
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