i don't know whats more disturbing, that his dog drooled directly into my mouth or that i was too drunk and tired to do anything except let it be there.
When we ran out of red solo cups we switched to Starbucks cups for beer pong... Who doesn't want to live in Seattle?
wicked high...have munchies. cherry flavor lube. problem solved.
Have introduced beer-pong to my work's Tuesday lunches.
honestly, i'm just crying in the kitchen naked and eating salsa
Picking up hoes with my dad is going to make it a little harder, but ay, if thats how he wants to bond after 23 years, Ill give it a shot
he has this weird thing where he watches me pee
So if I get kidnapped from my office and go missing for a few days does that count against my vacation days and do I still get paid?
He wants Portugal to lose so badly he threw out all the sangria. You know how depressing it is to watch someone dump 4 gallons of heaven?
Mom told me you snuck booze into a concert in a cheez its box...I have never been prouder to be related to you
You couldn't even walk but you came into the kitchen with the funnel and begged me to put beer in it
You have got to be the only man who has passed out while getting a lap dance.
Totally just got spotted hitting the bowl by someone else hitting a bowl. We gave each other a head nod
Tequila shots and throwing it at a bell.
This is dumb. I'll keep doing it.
I looked into her soul, didn't I?
You eye-fucked her soul.
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