you always know who the new freshman are on fb because theyre always wearing prom dresses
I bet Jafar would keep his hat on during
She thinks she's a fairy, dude. A real fucking fairy with wings and shit.
Its not monday til someone throws up in the hallway
Seius question. Does a penis floar when ina baht? Must find out.
Definitely Got caught hugging a strangers tree last night with 5 others.
My mom now keeps ice cubes on hand for my bong water. We may be able to work this relationship out.
Watching elf, eating a tub of ice cream, and coming to terms with the fact that I haven't had sex in 5 months. Happy fucking holidays.
Meet at Walmart straight from work to buy items for hurricane fun. Then blast some wine, make some sex, blast a bowl and cuddle each other till the sun comes up?
That's the most romantic New Orleans hurrication I've ever heard of. Can I have your babies?
Can't find my wig, my underwear, or my dignity. Halloween 2016
Oh lord. I have no recollection. I just got up. Surveying the damage. Found phone with messages out by pool. Still have not located my top or determined when i stopped wearing it
Drunk in my hotel room, eating taco bell, and crying at Nicki Minaj's life story.
This is why I keep you in my life.
Somehow, you looked so classy chugging that bottle of wine last night.
He started humming a moment like this when I was taking off his pants.
Great, now I'm picturing myself as a fucking garden gnome
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