I wish I could tape me & him having sex. Not for pornographic reasons, just for comic relief.
somehow I got talked into dressing up like a hot dog, spinning around ten times, and shooting lay ups in front of thousands of students
She called me Jeff during sex, I just kept going like nothing happened. To think, if I was a woman that would be a problem.
the trick is not to think about where her tounge has been.
I think i smell like relationship. That's my problem.
Think of where it's been though. That Dr. Suess book, "Oh the Places You'll go" was written for his penis.
At what point in my life did a night that has strippers, belly dancers, tequila and a midget become "average"?
i woke up the next morning in a pool of blood in my bathroom and a pinata donkeys head in my bed
so much for an anticlimactic 22nd birthday
Seriously, it sounds like someone is torturing a dozen cats inside a Japanese techno club while a jamaican yells random hipster words through a megaphone.
Make way for the handjob queen! She will grab what she wants, when she wants, and from whomever she wants.
Partying with them is like having your dick stapled to your left nostril
Well I woke up naked, with a santa hat on, and a bag of beef jerky next to me. So yeah, I would say it was a pretty successful trolley
We're ordering chinese food so if you want to get on this obesity train answer me now.
I never truly understood the phrase ball is life until I started having to balance NBA finals and all these men with balls i'd like to handle.
Can I come over and use your shower? My roommate got drunk last night and took my bathroom door off its hinges
Randomize
