he shaved USA in his pubs
Thanks again for allowing my sister to lose her virginity on your bed.
He kept telling me that something was trying to enter this dimension from another universe through his spine...
I thought you should know that there is a scientific law stating that when there is booze, people talk about your dick.
Apparently unused tampons can also double as things to bite down on during public sex to prevent screaming...
I've got mace and a condom. Ready to roll either way and keeping my pimp hand strong.
I would've hung out with you if I had the capacity to do anything besides fall over and pee on things
crossed #23 off the Slucket List!
YOU JUST MADE YOUR SLUCKET LIST THIS MORNING.
We passed out in his car so I had to find a way to inconspiciously make my walk of shame back inside to go get my shit. To make things more difficult I had no pants and the whole neighborhood was awake
If you kill yourself you won't get to feel that feeling when you have a good shit in the morning. Arent you gonna miss that?
I was just trying to be a good friend but in retrospect I probably shouldn't have pepper sprayed you.
I'm driving to his house to eat chicken and hopefully have an orgasm
Tell him you want to lick his face. Didn't work for me but might turn out better for you idk
Stacy was in the bathroom puking, so he peed out the window. We were eight stories up.
Want a bet? I'm a kinky and determined motherfucker with a libido that is not easily stopped
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