he was like Britney Spears in bed.. a little chubby and too medicated to perform.
i just bought ciggarettes using my court citation as id. I've reached an all time low.
Now would be a good time to set your alarm to pick me up from jail in the morning.
My spanish teacher discovered you can watch spanish music videos on youtube. Guess what were doing in class today? Michael Scott Spanish 101
Im not gonna remember this tomorrow but the real money is in coke i wanna get a dark wood desk and cell coke then i can own taco bell and the xxl chalupa will be mine
Think they will judge us if our pre drink is a kiddie pool of jello shots?
Do your friends by chance have our inflatable deer head?
Nevermind, it's in the dryer.
but he gave me mouthwash after the bj. no ones ever done that for me before.
I feel like I should be doing a victory lap around my house to the rocky music, or zapping and smiting people with my mystic wizard powers
i just stole a 8 pack of olde english 40s and 2 roles of duct tape. we are going to make edward proud tonight.
Don't tell me 'the Fonzie' doesn't work. Went to see Shakespeare high and gave the sign to the dude playing Macbeth. Now at a cast party getting blown. All hail the Fonz.
Piñatas plus fireworks don't mix well
I'm just mad because I can't play gta5 all day tomorrow cuz I'll be in court testifying against a craigslist prostitute...
I woke up this morning and I had the absolutely horrific realisation that I am the human incarnation of scrappy doo
I'm so stoned. We're making Josh's sister bake us brownies. She's so small and pixie like. Her brownies make me cry tears of happy.
Randomize
