i just snorted my name. best moment ever
today was the first day of rush. talking to girls all day makes me sick of having a uterus.
whats a positive sounding word for "exploit"?
I have a music final in an hour so I put all the classical songs we need to know in a shower power hour playlist, beer included.
They are chanting tits for freedom and I'm highly considering
I'm putting "buy a bottle of scotch" on my "productive things to do to procrastinate studying for finals" list
Absolute soulmates or functional alcoholics?
Can't be the first without the last
you took a picture of the hospital bathroom and sent it to me
Its like he woke the dragon, and the dragon is hungry for a good dick.
Well it's official, last night I hooked up with the third girl from the apartment downstairs.
Dude that's a hat trick!
I know, I tossed my hat on the floor as I was walking out.
There is a BIG difference between doing coke and getting peed on and getting peed on FOR coke
my last search of the night was "the physics of green eggs and ham" what the fuck
okay yeah but you've seen me eat jambalaya naked
He told me I was a good dog mom. I've never been so turned on in my life
I woke up with an eye patch on, someone else's sweatshirt on, and no pants on. I hope it was a good night.
Randomize
