we are driving next to a guy driving and masturbating while looking at a naked magazine. I love LA
I can totally hide my daquiri in my sling.
Dude its so hot it my room I can't jack off. Its gonna be a long summer.
its my first week of college and i have a UTI
not easy being a whore now is it
Please tell me nicole sent the picture of the ejaculating penis to you too, otherwise I'll feel really awkward
Make this decision based on your love for dick - NOT based on the fact that its probably one of the worst things you've ever thought of doing
Remember when we pinky swore we'd never feel hungover alone...
Let's be honest, your relationships fail because the man you're looking for is the equivalent of an intellectual blow-up doll.
dont iron anything. we fucked on the ironing board. details to follow.
there's a girl on facebook trying to buy me a pizza. I can't say no... right?
And the sky opened up and god said.... "WET T-SHIRT CONTEST!!!!"
Hey sorry about last night. can I come pick up my tooth?
No other way to put this but the dick was not worth him crying for an hour after. No more online hookups.
How the fuck did he think me asking about the possibility of a threesome was a rhetorical question?
Is it weird to invite your FWB to thanksgiving dinner??
Randomize
