I love the "adulterer" look on you. It's hot.
Its part of my fall instant classic line.
She's legit crying about wanting more sex. Holy shit.
yeah, she started doing yoga and cocaine....looks good on her.
why is it ever time u get laid i end up having to clean something twice? you have no idea how hard it is to wash smugged ass cheeks off the counter
there not mine if that helps
well someone pooped in the lint basket in the laundry room last night, but none of us will admit to it so we're all just secretly judging each other and doubting ourselves.
It is way too early in the summer for me to be coming into work still drunk.
Having a midget officiate your wedding because you think it'd be hilarious: good idea or potential lawsuit?
I mean there is a rehab there so its gotta be a good time
OMG THE KID WHO TRIED TO MAKE OUT AT THE BAR WITH ME IS SITTIG NEXT TO ME IN THE AIRPORT. WHY LIFE WHY???
Got a snapchat from Megan last night showing you sobbing about a burrito on the floor with Dan in the background trying not to laugh his ass off
I need to reevaluate my stance on weekday hangovers...
It doesn't count as "finding the lesbian" if you fuck a straight girl!
It was like a single vaginal boat in a sea of one eyed monsters
Hey long story short Grandma needs bail money.
please don't ironically join a cult
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