If we don't get kicked out of this hotel tonight for fucking too loud we're breaking up
I'm making a contract of things you're not allowed to put in my ass
This is me reassuring you that I'm still alive and making sure you still are.
just saw someone climb out of the dumpster at cvs and start walking down the street like it was completely normal
New level of stoned. My Terry's Chocolate Orange didn't 'whack-and-unwrap' so I ate it like an apple.
We need to tone down the drinking before our 7pm class. I don't remember receiving any of these handouts.
The narcoleptic neighbor conked out while taking her dog out again. Drinking game based on what the dog does and how long she's out. You in?
Out of control sex drive for a girl? I just masturbated in the bathroom at my in-laws house before dinner....
The resort was totally empty, just June and I. Which of course lead to EXCESSIVE day drinking and outdoor fucking. FYI Dominicans LOVE to watch.
Pretty sure I was impersonating Rihanna when I kept asking him what my name was while we were making out
What good is being a girl if you can't terrorize boys with pregnancy scares??
First day back to class and I have already pulled out the hard liquor
Not sure when or why this happened but I just stopped giving a shit about everything
I loaned him a tie and then had to tie it for him. I'm like his weird lesbian girlfriend.
she bought my drinks all night, made me breakfast in the morning, and let me use her expensive hair products before i left. best one night stand ever.
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