May have just accidentally purchased an iphone on Kate's credit card. This has potential to be bad.
From inside my college history class i see him waving his arms while holding a beer bong trying to get my attention
i feel like someone uncorked me like a wine bottle and pulled a living animal outta my arse.
so whenever I text yeah my phone automatically corrects it to yeahhhheeehhyeahyeahh .. too much party in the USA?
dude, i think we just came across a situation where tits weren't worth it.
Getting cock-blocked by Jeff Bridges. NOT OKAY.
I'd love to sympathize with you but I'm drunk in a mansion
She just asked me if I was looser "in the vagina" than her. While gyrating.
Found out people don't like it when you get drunk at fundraising auctions and bid in foreign currencies.
If it involves mee putting on a bra and discontinuing my 11 am drinking my answer is a polite fuck YOU
In honor of today being Sunday I am day drinking and watching Grey's Anatomy all day. ALL DAY.
Dude I'm at a Marijuana dispensary party. They are giving away BAGS of edibles
How do you keep ending up in these situations?
My dad is their accountant
I think I got into an argument with my cat's former owner about what a BDSM relationship entails.
all i remember is walking home without my pants on... when i woke up i was sleeping in between my parents in their bed, no more whiskey wednesdays
I don't wanna SLEEP with him, I want to start bar fights with him. There's a difference.
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