so i'm sitting in his room drinking tequila from the bottle and watching harry potter. he's jacking off to some porn a couple feet away from me. at one point i look over and see that he's watching me instead of the porn. please help me figure out how warped it is that i found that romantic
if it were possible I'd exchange my vagina for a diff one on the black market.
her orgasm sounded like a fucking walrus crying.
.....then i was kicked out of my work christmas party......
I can't believe he would be such an ass
Your boobs are way too big for you to be worrying about anything.
im not going to any frat parties next semester. for once i want them to think its actually hard to get in my vagina
I'm writing my will in case I die this week, it'll be saved on my computer under: little 500 death scenario
I try not to flex my sex appeal too much around the engineers, it's like feeding bears...always ends in disaster.
I am now picking what guy I will hang out with based on how many Pokémon they live near.
HE CHOSE A RESTAURANT AND MADE A FUCKING RESERVATION. I AM SHOOK
Her cat was breathing in my ear all night, like that kid from Hey Arnold.
I think I just got booty called by someone I've never slept with or even really had a conversation with before.
reminiscing on last night: why the fuck did I feel the need to stand on chairs everytime we took a jello shot?
He wanted me to do the rubix cube. He thought it was hot.
Rationing the toilet paper. Only one wipe allowed. I'm scared to move too much.
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