So I don't have any furniture but we just skateboard drunk around the floor.
well seeing as i got a call at 5 am from the hotel manager telling me my cousin was passed out on the lobby floor...not good
Talk me down man. Writing a paper drunk and about to buy Celine Dion's greatest hits.
he will always be the guy i fucked in the hallway.
I need the number of a restaurant that delivers, has lock-picking abilities, and is okay with full frontal male nudity. Entirely too hungover to get out of bed.
I don't think we had sex because when I woke up he was still wearing the chicken suit.
I think I saw maybe 3 ugly girls the entire time we were there
Yea its like that frat house was built to keep fat chicks out of parties
You screamed "there will be blood" and punched some random guy in the face. So no, we can't go back to that bar.
Well, I made it all the way to the gas station. And from there, I begged a cab driver who was parked outside, to give me a piggy back ride the final 2 blocks to my apartment. I wasn't in the cab. Didn't have to pay. Drunk me is smart, and very lazy.
our friendships a beautiful delicate flower...that has been crushed by peni
No like you've drunkenly persistently tried to take your shirt off in the middle of a park filled with children. You had already thrown your bra at my crotch.
She's like the King Midas of sexual confusion. Everything she touches turns to gay.
I told some guy on tinder, that apparently has a prosthetic leg, that I think we started off on the wrong foot. I hate myself...
There's no sexy way to moan the name Ernest. Or Ernie. This relationship is fucked
Yupp. He's definitely a screamer.
Randomize
