we just decided that lesbian tuesdays are a must, as of tomorrow.
did i really try to jack off an athens police horse last night? please tell me youre kidding..
do you ever just like the smell of your farts?
They've started ranking girls from "paper-bag" to "I just came." Please come get me
win or lose for butler, i'm still masturbating to brad stevens tonight
My poo smells like dog food. That's how I know it was a good night.
He warned me he may piss the bed. I'm oddly okay with this.
After doing lines off my chest, she said, "do you even know how fast I could suck your cock right now?!!" and her friend said, "yea she totally could".
Just helped a homeless man panhandle outside of Wawa, made him $6.31. Where are you?
I'm having Vietnam flashbacks. This Kid I hooked up with is speaking in class and I keep experiencing the terror.
Gosh, I don't even have that. Let alone someone to tie me up and whip me with Twizzlers.
A beef tasting is not what I needed while hungover
I can wear a rubber suit at three am and spank someone's ass until its sore and fuck them three ways from Sunday. And get up the next day and do their laundry. As long as once in awhile they rub my back without expecting anything
I had sex in an engineering office last night. So that could be your life. I was mounted on top of a sketch of a future parking lot for a maintenance building. If that's not romantic, idk what is
I walked in on him fucking her whilst she ate skittles. I saw things no one should see, but I did get your bra back. You owe me.
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