I feel like death. Did you die last night?
Nope. Ready for round 2. Fiesta!
unreal. Greatest comeback since Jesus
he just quoted gucci mane to try and get me to give him head.
She made Precious look like a solid 6.5.
And then I interrupted the father of the groom, to ask if she was "ballet or pole" in the middle of his story about his niece, the dancer.
i remember too much of last night for it to have been successful
well considering we left the bathroom with the mirror off the wall, a bloody nose, and clothes all messed up they assume im just a coke whore now..
So what's the verdict on pumpkin smoothies with vodka? I puked.
We should probably go now, otherwise the whores will descend.
max decided it would be a good idea to run down the hall and smack down the exit sign. now we are sitting in the emergency room, and he is wearing the sign as a bracelet
I woke up this morning to find a stuffed animal submerged in the toilet. I'm not entirely sure if it was the cat or Kara.
WE SHOULD MAKE A WORKOUT ROUTINE CALLED BARCARDIO
I'm making poor life decisions again. Tune in tomorrow to see how much I hate life.
Does your Fitbit monitor your liver failure?
Drunk is not a location!
we've never stayed at a party for more than an hour. we always end up at a pizzaria. by ourselves. with no friends.
what else are best friends for?
Randomize