Either he has two lazy eyes or he really likes my tits..
ew. I made a sandwich, and the cheese reminded me of her vagina
How do you say "I always respond to booty calls" when you give a guy your number?
I sent her 8 pictures of my dick in a baked potato. Not sure how I thought that would get me laid later.
Hypothetically speaking, what is the proper response if one gets bitten by a most likely not rabid squirrel? Hypothetically.
Puuuub goooolf. Being trashed at 830 never felt so right
Dude what hole are you on?....and its 9:15
hole5. 2 under par. irish nachos
I think you're too young for vagina rejuvenation but I guess you have never been one to listen. Sounds good! You bring the Percocet ill bring the vodka!
On a better note: I'm on pace for 730 female produced orgasms in 2013.
The yoga party turned into an underwear party because we are all incompetent when it comes to tying bed sheets.
This has been a Party Success Story
hoooly shit dude in taco costume challenged alpha douche to a fight. he's got catch phrases. come. now.
I just pictured my inhibition personified as little pink piggies with wings flying off into the great wide nowhere hahaha
I just found a weed leaf in my leg hair..
i found waldo and immediately set him to work eating me out. please have more out of season costume parties.
I've seen too many dicks in the past week. I can't do it anymore.
At one point, the bartender wrote out the words "please kill me" on some receipt paper and slid it across the bar to me.
Randomize
