i already hear my dad disowning me
Black out sex on the trampoline? yes please.
quitting drinking is the number 5 new years resolution but number 4 is enjoying life more which one do you think im going to pick
The problem with having your drunkeness documented at a wedding is not only does it show up all over facebook, but all over professional photography websites.
"Guy Time" translaed into 10 shots apiece and me waking up covered in my own blood.
5 out of the 6 of them cut their hands while trying to shot gun the beer, I had never seen balls attached to such patheticness
They were picking gravel out of my face for an hour. I think I took more out of the road than the road did of me.
Barfights against pavement aren't genrally won by people. Props.
I just realized I turned down a booty call too. To make cheesecake. God help us all
I AM THERE IN SPIRIT, TICKLING YOUR BALLS
Do you know what the cost code is for strip clubs? I'm filling out my company expense report right now
I was passed out in a bathroom stall. Of course im going to look like shit
I'm sorry I pissed in your bedroom and then woke you up when I tried to jump off the balcony
that is either the most profound and meaningful thing i've ever heard, or someone got high before noon again.
Rum and your dick are involved. You're relying on the unreliable narrator.
The guy at the liqiour store just said "Wow haven't seen you in awhile, is everything okay?"
Randomize
