oh. my. god. the guy i hooked up with last night is currently wearing a dress.
yeah that facebook group of people who have had sex with me probably isn't to discreet...
He asked if I wanted to blow his flute? Please call me and pretend there is a family emergency!!!
Sorry i'm not sorry i made out with your dad. It was father's day weekend, get a grip
This freshman just ran out of her seat in a 200 person lecture, opened the emergency door and vommed everywhere. Then quietly went back to her seat. $2 Pitchers hit someone hard last night.
im not going to any frat parties next semester. for once i want them to think its actually hard to get in my vagina
In case you were wondering, transporting lube in a ziploc bag is just as bad of an idea as it sounds.
I wish dancing around my house in my bra and underwear to Love Shack whilst eating strawberry cake batter was an acceptable form of exercise.
her mom went out of her way to book us a room with separate beds... her level of gay denial is in beast mode
I threw up in a Buffalo Wild Wings and then got a high-five. I really don't understand America
GOD DAMMIT TARYN WHY DO WE ALWAYS HAVE TO ROB PLACES IN OUR FUTURE PLANS?!
Its like drunk me is Oprah except instead of a car everyone's award is seeing my boobs
Give me like 5, I have to feed a moose and find my pants.
Dude why is my bed and bedding wrapped in bubble wrap?
Cuz u wanted to insure u had a safe sleep
Even after hearing me fuck his friend twice in one night, he still follows me around like a puppy.
Randomize
