the chick doesn't look like she's put anything in her mouth for weeks other than his dick.
You hook up with other guys, let him talk to other girls.
no
I think I speak chipmunk. Odd.
Are you high?
No. That's why it's odd
it wouldnt have been so bad but she still had the cowboy hat on when my mom walked in
I actually kind of like the booze poos. It's like a colon cleanse. I feel skinnier.
it got awkward when she realized that our nickname for her was "The Hambeast"
I'm at a party with half naked strippers driving in a little kids battery powered mustang around a stipper pole in his bedroom
having someone tell me to "prepare my vagina" is not really something I want to hear..
Just had such a rough shit, don't stop believin had to be played
As a general rule of thumb, I don't call until the claw marks have healed.
wait did i hook up with someone in mcdonalds last night?
I just texted him from the other room to come have sex with me-stress relieved
You are such a millennial
Lol I'm just saying its too early for your penis, I can accept it but at a more decent hour
I wanted to give everyone gifts as they left the house... So when your wondering where most of the christmas ornaments are I'm really sorry.
Family acid trip. They're welcoming me into the family.
What. The. Fuck.
Family acid trip.
Randomize
