And a psychic told me I was pregnant and I am just so over life right now.
I think I found out what we're going be for Halloween....Alcohol poisoning victims.
Pizza delivery...for when you need to eat your feelings for the sex you aren't having
Would be fun, plus since its in public I'll keep my penis in my pants
I can't ever date him again. Whenever I see his face I just remember helplessly pissing myself in my car.
Got done with class, now I'm buying MD 2020 with the ex. Sure feels like college.
well considering the guy who just delivered my cookies had to console me as i had a mental breakdown in front of him i'd say i'm 4/10 right now, thank you
Dude, my sex life is so sad since I started having feelings.
Sleeping with just one person sucks
I threw up vodka and borscht. I'm done with life...I threw this up in a McDonald's bathroom btw.
I don't know if the puke on my pants is mine or not
I don't know what happened last night. But I just woke up in the high school boiler room
Totally reading about penis envy for my final exam
Did I tell you I’m going on a date? His name is Michael and we both like dinosaurs and anal.
How drunk were you? in an effort to seduce him, you demonstrated your lap dance skillz on his dog.
My husband is waiting until son is napping and air humps as a seduction tactic. Pray for me.
Randomize
