Being 21 is my favorite hobby I'm really good at it
I just saw the girl you left with - Chris Hansen's looking for you
morning outfit: hottub soaked skirt. no underwear. someone's bandanna worn as a shirt. took me an hour to walk home. this isn't fun anymore.
So we were banging and she started puking all over my bed. I'm not sure what's worse, her puking, or that I felt the urge to start singing Flip-adelphia.
let's skip the party, and just play drunken wii, again. its time to give my vag a break.
I like the one of me you and her but you're looking at me...Total foreshadowing right there. I'm cropping it
They want me to get them some X for there wedding present. I'm on the way to get it now
PS August 29 of last year was when you ran over my foot. Facebook just reminded me.
You don't have a penis so I'm not texting you at this hour. This is penis texting hour only.
You told your mom that it was your second day sober. I think she believed it until you jumped off the balcony
I'm just gonna eat nachos and wine fruit forever.
Well I woke up at my house so that's a plus. But I'm pretty sure I peed on my sofa because I woke up in the pee position.
I want to get up and tell you that smells delicious but I'm struggling with the idea of pants
Every time you mention the threesome around him I will high five you. Do what you will with this information.
When I type "sleep" my phone suggests "with Trevor". My phones an asshole.
Randomize
