So tired and we had a cokehead in the salon today making us bleach her whole head because she thought it would let her pass her drug test for custody of her kid
Oh.My.God.
Im watching he's just not that into you, eating way too much pizza, and feeling very single.
I'm pretty sure she sent a group text out saying that I was the one to get with her last night and sorry to everyone who didnt make it.
Honestly it was an honor just to be nominated.
i cant cry in cvs. not again.
we kept pushing you at the prospective students saying go for it, itll make them want to come here
you kept yelling THIS ONES FOR THE ADMISSIONS OFFICE and then youd go in for the kill
I need to cry about outer space to someone. Can I call you?
Tis the season to puke in grandma's bathroom
IS SOBER OCTOBER A THING?? WTF WHO ARE THESE PEOPLE?
i am laugh crying so hard the guy next door stopped playing guitar
I don't know what to think. Also, I decided to take a bath...sorry in advance if I flood the bathroom.
Did you really just call a picture of your erect penis art?
She touched my penis and started laughing. She did the same thing when she blew me.
Remember when we made out in a Chik-Fil-A drive thru?
You're a hot mess, you know that?
At least I'm a FUN hot mess. Like a train crash full of pizza, fireworks and glitter.
If he knew how badly I want to blow him he’d stop talking about his wife
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