if you force a hooker to have sex with you and dont pay her would it be rape or theft? something to ponder
I guess i tried to text 911 last night with "someone stole my bong." Thank god that doesn't work...
I sent him a picture of my touching myself. He responded back "Your nails look really nice"
I woke up with a picture of my dick as my background. still wondering if it was a good night or not.
I don't remember his name but he sat in the bathroom and gave us both advice...
you two started sword fighting with 3 ft tall spruce trees you pulled out of planters
i noticed he has a cardboard window on his car and he told me he locked his keys in his car and had to break in...this only makes him more appealing
we are torturing ourselves with these mediocre cocks
my mom just told me I should hit it and quit apparently she does not like this new girl
Im pretty sure my housekeeper high fived her on the way out this morning
My VP dropped me off at the Strip Club in Houston. Just said "I was never here".
Sorry, that was mean and I didn't mean it. I'm just mad at condoms
I JUST SAW MY THERAPIST OUTSIDE OF WORK AND I DONT KNOW THE ADULT THING TO DO
For some reason drunk me always leaves sober me a banana in the morning.
Just made a drug contact standing in the sandwich line in the dining hall. Is this real life?
You're my fucking hero.
Randomize
