worst experience of my life. her nipples were sick. kinda like a venn diagram
birthday sex, birthday sex, birthday sex
I'm on my period, period, period
I don't give a shit about soccer but I'm really excited about drinking at 7 in the morning
Just finished texting the 27th male name in my phone that i don't recognize. none of them were the hott kid i made out with last night. the search continues.
Fuck men. I'm going to go eat a package of cookie dough and get fat. I hope I die of salmonella.
I know. I told you I'm a mess. She had weird nipples. I almost lost an eye to one.
this lady just pulled corn on the cob out of her purse
People like that make this world a better place.
Eating a grilled cheese at a strip club... good idea??
At least I remembered to wear a bra. I feel like that's a big accomplishment right now
Denim handjobs are the worst handjobs. I hate all handjobs. Why do people even.
If I don't quit picking up guys when I'm drunk, I'm going to need a vagina transplant.
They said you went back in for 30 minutes and were walking with your arms out like an eagle soaring
I HAVE 5 FELTING NEEDLES AND THEYRE GOING DIRECTLY INTO YOUR EYES IF YOU POST THAT SHIT
Did my dad just see you doing a walk of shame?
Yup I waved.
He's on the porch naked. Help.
Randomize