I'm single ladies-ing it in my kitchen alone. after I just made an intense new breakup cd and before I drown my sorrows by marinating alone in my jacuzzi later. I cant tell if this is a new low or a new high
Just saw two guys having a lawn mower race, and their girlfriends cheering them on. Get me out of Tehachapi,
so the guy who showed me the apt today is now texting me and asking me out for drinks...he's at least 20 yrs oldr than me and highlights his hair, but part of me is wondering how low i can talk him down in rent during sex? wrong?
he thought i was a dude.
she burped and cried multiple times. it was like i was getting head from a baby.
I think I just sold my virginity for plane tickets
I can neither confirm or deny any bear related allegations right at this time.
I think I need to donate blood to see if I have Hepatitis. Again.
Remind me to call McDonald's to give a good review of Ruth. She truly demonstrated grace under pressure.
How did I roll 7 times this month and survive?\nI must be some sort of ecstasy goddess
I have a high opinion of you, you smash bitches. Respect.
You were throwing cups at people in the basement, yelling at them to get out of your swamp.
My entire news feed is ice bucket challenges. I wish there was a hide from feed button like FarmVille
Can you tell dad to stop liking and sharing porn on FB again?
it was weird i started the party in just my underwear and woke up in my clothes
Randomize
