margs and chips and queso make the world go round
well and inertia
we went to a bar last night, drank beer in plastic cups. I took pics w/a random kid i pulled into a photobooth & i have easy mac in my purse. I belong here.
Chicago was legit, ate some badass pizza and gave a cig to a crackhead..its all i thought it would be
Sorry about last night..I didnt realize how drunk you were and when I closed the door it caused you to slam into the mirror...you'll probably piece together the puzzle when you read this and see your hand.
I'm honestly too sad to drink and hang out with strippers. This breakup sucks.
Just don't have "pin the tail on the straight edge" as a party game... Please and thanks...
Im doing shots of vodka in the bathroom covered in pillows.
Tornado warnings are fun!
This will be the 3rd time you have blacked out and lost your phone only to have some kind stranger find it, charge it, call me, then mail it back to you. Your luck amazes me...
Sitting in bed reading a porn novel off my phone and accidentally just made Siri start reading the most graphic part aloud. FUN FIRST NIGHT WITH THE NEW ROOMIE.
The more I piece together last night the more I want to vomit it out of my brain.
I've had to take two showers today and it's not even 1 o'clock. Why won't this weekend wash off?
He was like 120 lbs and 20 of that was penis
You showed up at my house at 4am with a bloody nose, one shoe and a bucket of chicken... I live no where near a place that sells chicken in a bucket..
Well that would explain the bones in my purse.
is it still the walk of shame if his dad gave me a 'thanks for sleeping with my son' head nod on my way out this morning?
not even sure this counts as hungover but like my body can't exist in reality today
Randomize
