I probably shouldn't have followed up that rainbow sherbet with beef jerky. This is a whole new level of fat, even for me.
There are going to be so many Snookis this Halloween that I might just dress as the guy that hit her and punch them all in the face
Sometimes one must go to great lengths and make great sacrifices to get drunk. I willingly accept the challenge.
the beer staff turned into a beer spear way to quickly
How would one go about tricking someone into chugging an entire bottle of tequila?
also since I use google voice my ads in gmail switched to DUI services after this conversation
Hahaha it was a great moment in my life. This must be what post child birth feels like, given you don't get a combined asshole/ vagina
How the hell do you leave a party with a kitten? It's missing and everyone knows it was you.
I always ask when they're due. It's the nicest way for me to let her know the rest of the world can tell she's putting on weight too
You know you had a good night when you wake up cuddling a baseball bat and a can of chicken noodle soup.
long story short, the bouquet was used as a sacrificial torch
Just took an Adderall with Pedialyte so I think that's a valid answer to "how are you doing"
Anytime he goes down on me i automatically think of you cheering me on. Your a good friend.
Dude, I just feel great. I love life so much and I love you. Love. Love. So much love.
I tried making my own red bull with crushed up caffeine pills, bubbley water and flintstones chewable vitamins. The ER doctor sead I'm lucky to be alive.
Randomize
