I know, he also has a fancy car to make up for his tiny penis
I think we should start referring to bisexuals as "strays"
i scrubbed and i scrubbed and i scrubbed and i still was a whore
Just scheduled a cocaine deal around my drug counsler appointment. Why yes, thank you, I do enjoy the irony that is my life.
BIGGER SANDWIJH COME NIW OR DIE
Yeah but I was the kid who ran over your BMW and is banging your 15 year old daughter... There isn't a cool enough dad in the world to make that work.
He was the only guy who ever made me cry..
Who, the park ranger who made you dump out your beer on the beach?
If kinky sex was an Olympic sport they would be playing the anthem for me as we speak.
Siri makes being stoned even easier. I don't even Have to type my texts myself
Though I typed a half of that one
STOP WHATEVER YOU ARE DOING AND GO OUTSIDE RIGHT NOW. THE MOON LOOKS LIKE CATWOMAN
We learned many a lesson today about drug use in canoes
I left him on his mom's lawn after he passed out in my lap and told me my vagina smells like flowers. Couple of the year award
I mean, she's batshit insane and once choked a guy with one hand but she's still MILF material in my book.
That's right. I just LL Cool J'ed you up in this bitch. Zero fucks.
But like, I don't remember getting hit with the door... I just come out from peeing and there was blood running down my face.
Randomize
