I got chris browned last night
So it's 10:55am and I just woke up on the floor in the hallway on the4th floor. There should probably be no moredrinking competetions.
Raise your hand if you bought 2 annoying girls shots of water. CLOWNS.
so i texed my mom when i was trashed last night and said "i know its 3 am, just go to bed and i'll be back by the time we leave for the airport"
It was just so hard to get through Conan without crying like a baby. I'm just so proud of him.
Whenever I miss you I just turn on Tool Academy
you scanned your fake to get into the dorm last night and when the lady told you it was the wrong card you looked at her and said this is who i am thursday night
The beer is more important than you right now.
We had fun with our Indiana Jones role-playing until I whipped myself in the dick with my belt.
I wore pigtails while I was having sex with that 22 year old just to make him feel like a pedophile.
This guy dressed as a piece of paper for Halloween, I felt it was only necessary to sign his penis
Themes for tonight: men who look like bill Gates but sing smash mouth songs. Women who's names are also food. Haircuts that DO NOT cover bald spots.
It's not even 11, i dropped a shot glass, nick is bleeding, and everyone is drunk
The cop said he like my hair today. Please explain all other interactions with law enforcement, k thanks
Dude, you stalking his LINKEDIN profile will NOT affect your chances with him. We aren't 40...
Randomize
