Weren't you self-described as an 'arab' slut?
No?
Well my cheeks are red now
I was looking through my facebook friends list to see how many ppl on the list i've hooked up with, and was effectively reminded of my failed friendships, relationships, fuck budy-ships, friends with benefits, and "i cant remember if i ever did shit with him but we're awkward now" ships.
THEY JUST PLAYED KISS FROM A ROSE TONIGHT IS PERFECT
the whole time he was cumming, he did the joey lawrence WHOA. over and over. WHOA. WHOA. WHOA. WHOA.
So stoned I forgot I was masturbating and went to go get a cookie.
Either I put my underwear on inside out and wore it like that all day, or I had sex with him. Its sad I have to guess.
No, I left myself a half eaten cucumber and a beer next to my head, pointed at it and said 'you're breakfast' and then passed out.
did i send you the picture of me smiling with the magnum wrapper?
I am sufficiently unimpressed with the options available to my freshly shaved self tonight.
He keeps bees of course he's weird
BUT DID YOU RIDE THAT DICK INTO THE SUNSET THO?
Just let me pee on you and I'll leave you alone.
I wonder how vigorously I can jack off in a one person tent without being noticed???
Those brownies did us in. I honestly blacked out completely.
What brownies? Ohmygod.
Hi I love you will you be up for a while!
That exclamation point was a drunk decision
Randomize
