dude, wtf is with her now? she has stuff up about how i am kicking her while she's down
wtf? who are you bitching about me to now?
I'm glad my gym is open 24 hours..I stopped in on my way home to puke from the bar
Dude totally calling you out on watching when harry met sally on netflix on demand on april 8th.
Well he's not a stripper, so we're already doing better than my last date.
you can SEE the outline of a pad through her jeans. there is no way
Dude she was 62...with a boob job. And I'm proud to say I made out with that.
I'm finding that as the end of the quarter approaches, the list of things I refuse to do sober keeps getting longer.
I don't remember you taking the condom off last night. Did you just walk home in it ?
I feel like telling him your vigina was older than him was not a good pick up line.
If you die first, I'm going to sleep with a pallbearer at your funeral.
I can't stop drooling did you spike my drink?
yeah, I don't think I'm getting into the baseball game tonight. The security guard definitely saw me bowl over that child.
I encourage you to ignore feeling. Drinking more helps
I'm twenty nine years old, now is not the time to start trying new drugs. I need a hedge fund...not another drug-induced hangover.
Step 1 was make out with him. so now we just need to come up with step 2.
Randomize
