Don't forget I'm 20 now
I liked you more when you were 19
youll never guess who i didnt fuck at that party
you ran into the room and announced "I JUST FUCKED HER IN THE ASS". apparently you forgot she left the bedroom 5 minutes before you and was standing with us all.
let's have our labels/stereotypes/careers for each kid by next week.
oh how i love working at summer camp.
Do you think if Santa was real that he's have a big penis?
I saved him as teletubby in my phone....that can't be a good sign. I'm not answering.
Ok if you are accepting my apology, please continue to ignore me. If you are not, please fill out the brief survey that follows, to help me improve my people relations: a) your a bitch please leave me alone b)your crazy pls leave me alone c) I never cared ab u please leave me alone. D) all of the above e) all of the above but I wouldn't mind still fucking u. F) who are you again? Your answer will not b shared and will b used in accord. With the law. TY
There are rocks in my bed. And dirt all over my face. Explain?
Seriously. What did you do to me. You have a monstercoooooock.
I can't believe I just typed monstercoooooock. Twice.
I went home with a guy last night because he showed me some magic tricks and kept shouting "THEY'RE ILLUSIONS MICHAEL!"
We created a neighborhood watchdog drinking game
There's something really beautiful about walk of shaming past the Capitol.
I DID MY EXPERIMENTING. FOUR YEARS OF IT. IN HIGH SCHOOL.
JB just got pulled over and I am in the trunk...... this isnt good
Who the fuck puts glitter on their vagina? It’s all over my face and crotch.
Randomize
