Dual, econ, hell, shiv, aunt, puppy. 1 out of 6. T9 word needs to learn how to cuss like me.
I just woke up and i'm wearing a cape and it says sup slut on my ass
so i woke up thsi morning with a phadora on my head, no shirt and a huge hangover? want to help me figure this out?
No, I stopped taking my meds because I like crazy me better
Just had a flashback of dry humping a man lying in the street while Jim (dressed as santa) screams 'HAVE YOU BEEN A GOOD BOY?!'
He's used the term "balls deep" 3 times in the first hour. Thanks a lot, Plenty of Fish.
You finished the fifth and then hid two dozen eggs around your apartment and declare that you would "quest for Jesus". Have fun questing today.
We were walking home from Pluckers (read carrying your drunk ass) and out of nowhere you yelled "Say bitch you got a Facebook?" at a random chick walking by.
Last night, I listened to Aladdin on my ipod while I stole bread and cheese from Wal-Mart. I feel like you're the only one who'd be proud of me.
Considering who their parents are, maybe you should use vodka for the baptism.
He said I was so drunk and high that I had a conversation w/ his goldfish. The video shows me clearly conversing as if talking to a person w/ pauses in conversation and everything
I feel like my toilet water looks different when outsiders use my bathroom...
Are you high right now?
HOW DID YOU KNOW!
apparently i ended up downloading "thats amore", giving him head, and singing it... all at the same time
Good, but still not as good as the guy I banged in the ball crawl
The highlight of my week is I found some hetero porn I didn't completely hate. Branching out.
Randomize
