benefit of terrorism--they won't let you buy random one way plane tickets to random parts of the country for no reason nonmatter how high you are.
how bad would it be if i made his twitter my home page?
I am undressing in in n out. They migit ca5l security. Are you provn d6 me?
OH MY GOD. SO PROUD.
It was the textbook our-balls-touched-while-engaged-in-a-threesome-with-our-bosses-wife conversation.
It amazes and alarms me I'm not shocked to read that.
Dude.. full face helmets and hangovers do not mix... I am never going to get rid of the smell of puke.
To be clear, the next time I wake up with your dick inside me, I will reach down and grab one and squeeze until it pops like a grape. You've been warned.
Girl please we both know I eat his bullshit up like its candy sprinkled with crack
Just drove by where I lost my sausage gravy virginity
But college guys get to crossfade so there's that
No idea what that is
Like getting bent? When you drink and smoke together...
I'm 30 stop using your cool kids words
THIS IS WHY I WENT TO SCHOOL FOR TO BE A COSMETOLOGIST TO HELP MY EX BOYFRIENDS CURRENT GIRLFRIEND BE MILDLY ATTRACTIVE... Everything DOES happen for a reason
The last thing I searched on my phone was "leave in conditioner on cats." This is where my life is.
The moment buddy the elf found out he was human is exactly like the moment I realized I was gay
you bit my nipple really hard and then looked at me and said 'i feel responsible for the state of your nipples'
I didn't even get crazy off of the coke so everything's fine. Also, I think I might have killed my aunt's dog..
part of it says your brother mayyyy have put his lips on my vagina
Randomize