I gotta feeling the economic climate has killed the housewife market
have you ever noticed that homeless people never have acne. suck it proactive
In hindsight, i should have predicted that a drink called the 'rocky mountain bear fucker' would not end in a pleasant experience
in the middle of sex he stopped to tell me that he loved me... then slapped my ass and told me "back to business"... im gonna marry him
I got a 69.7 in accounting. I have this whole doing the bare minimum down to a science
That combination of brocholi bacon eggs cheese ketchup and pasta would have been a revaltion had you not thrown up on the stove and put out the pilot light
When you awake you'll realize that your car is missing....just know that I had it and becuz of your car I hooked up with the hot bar tender that looks like that guy from bay-watch however I parked it in a loading zone and it was towed...that sex was TOTALLY worth it love you
you told that cab driver that when the 3 of us come togehter it means happiness and love
She kept telling me to calm down. I was on the floor with my eyes shut, not moving. In levels of calm I was one step above coma patient
Another day, another engagement, another cat
On another note, I feel like my vagina is slowly being peeled off with a rusty potato peeler.
I would eat the Denny's grand slam special out of my new probation officers b hole
Goddamnit, guys. I got lube all over my kindle.
So the girl I met at the bar last night came home with me. Played with my puppy. And left.
I had to fake it. He was punching my vagina like it owed him money and enough was enough.
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