Im mastering the way to pass gas silently.
My mom is making me buy a single zucchini, I look like someone who can't afford a dildo
just as he was about to cum he started shouting "I THINK I CAN! I THINK I CAN!" over and over again.
Just got the test results back. All clean, Now whose an idiot for going bareback in South America for 3 months straight.
Tequila bombs in champagne seemed like a good idea at the time.
well i just got discharged from the hospital after getting pegged in the head by a t-shirt gun so thats how my night was.
And then he posed under the bed and said, "you should draw me like one of your french girls." Why do they keep giving this kid drugs?
Can you work for me at 4? We might have just taken some drugs we found in the couch and... end of story
These fuzzy pants work great for sleeping, taking an exam, getting baked and watching the hobbit. I guess i'm not changing pants for 72 hours.
MIDGETS
????
You tried to order fondue take-out.
From Taco Bell.
Nice. I like it when Maker's Mark makes decisions for you.
My mom just came upstairs handed me an Adderall and asked if I could help her wash the ceilings
Also this morning I remembered seeing the stripper he threw up on later in the night. She was clothed though.
Intelligence report: the hot sister called you gross, the sweet sister says you're dumb, and the smart sister says all the other men she knows would have to die for her to hook up with you.
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