I saw his dick soo much last night when I saw him this morning all I saw was penis where his face should be
I successfully cooked a taquito with a lighter! My stomach hurts now tho.. im either guna blame it on the undercooked taquito or im feeling guily about porkin my brothers gf a lil bit ago
at least franzia made me throw up pretty colors.
Fine then. I'll just do all this coke on my own this weekend and die. It'll be strictly your fault.
they're both probably 7 inches? or 8? I'm shoving a ruler in my mouth trying to figure it out
You asked her to play "the coma game" with you while hooking up, and then passed out in her bed. She couldn't wake you up so she slept on the floor.
Looks like I won that one
so i guess now we know you can get away with peeing mere feet from the Capitol if you shout IM PREGNANT at the guards
New favorite drinking game: bobbing for jello shots. Where did these freshmen come from and when can we go there?
Can't a woman sleep on the floor in her own apartment in peace without being judged?
whatever the appropriate amount of shots is to consider drunken acrobatics a good idea was a few less than I actually had
What would you say is the recommended tip for a hotel maid who has to clean up vomit on just about every surface of a hotel bathroom?
You also once spent an entire hour explaining the origin of the strip steak to me.
The perfect man would keep a whisky sour in my hand and give me endless sex. I really don't think that's too much to ask for.
congrats on being the token straight people in our group.
I'm sorry for what I said when I was orgasming
Randomize
